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August 2009


It seems to me that
men who drive trucks like that,
beat their women
and end up fat.

I’ve been hearing Hillary Clinton’s voice on the radio a lot recently, and it’s bringing me great pleasure. Not just because my first choice for President gets to play such a prominent role in my new first choice for President’s administration, but because of Donald Rumsfeld.

For the last eight years of my life, Donald Rumsfeld has been stuck in my craw like rancid peanut butter. He was the most vocal person in the Bush administration, and I hated him all the more because he was good at it. He steadfastly rallied the Republican faithful, and, as an intellectual, was especially re-assuring those who had noticed their president was, at least in the public eye, a complete moron.

Rumsfeld was all over the news, assuring his public about the war, ignoring jibes, draping over the statues of Justice without irony, and just generally being the lightning rod from my hate. He pissed me off daily, leaving me too exhausted to properly detest Bush Jr, or that Cheshire trouble-maker, Dick Cheney.

But revenge is mine, and it comes in the form of Hillary Clinton. The moment Hillary announced her candidacy for the Senate, the GOP made it clear that she is their anathema. And so I know that every time she appears in the news, the same painful hate I once felt for Rumsfeld now ripples through the spines of my adversaries. And, as a result, her voice makes me so immediately happy that I can barely pay attention to what she’s saying.

So while no punishment will ever equal the crimes of destroying our economy and middle class, callously killing both our soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, and making most Americans too embarrassed to travel overseas, I think that a twenty-four hour Hillary channel would be a good place to start.