I fear that if I don’t leave Chiang Mai soon, I’ll get:

Run over by a tuk-tuk.
Ridiculed for spending two months in Southeast Asia and only seeing one town.
Seduced by one of those ridiculous young hotties.*
Fifteen pounds where I don’t want them.
Used to the temperature.
A British accent.

*ridiculous referring to ‘young’, not ‘hot’, though there are plenty of both.