So in preparation for my upcoming trip to Thailand, I wanted to learn some of the basic phrases. Now I’m well aware of Thailand’s reputation as a place where helpless white men got to get laid and/or married, but I really had no idea how bad it was until I stumbled upon the Thai Talkboard app for the iPad:

Just the phrases they include on their short list is a warning sign: “Are you married?” or “You are a pretty girl.” (or my favorite: “What’s your phone number?”, as if anyone using this app could managed a phone call in Thai…)

Of course, I’ve run into this before. Some years back I grabbed a Lonely Planet French Phrasebook for a trip to Paris, and found it useless beyond eating, drinking, and securing a prostitute. I feel that the Lonely Planet people, like the Thai Talkboard folks, are just playing off of people’s fantasies: that foreign women are so easy you merely have to learn the words to ask. And I did see a lot of coupling happening the bars, though it was usually between a couple of travellers who already spoke the same language.

But it wasn’t the contents of the application itself that raised my eyebrows, rather its reviews. The top two went like this:

Great App *****
My wife is Thai and speaks very little English. This app does a nice job for basic communication…

What?, I think. This guy managed to get married to a woman that he needs an app this simplistic to communicate with? And what did he do before he bought the app? I hate to judge, but that doesn’t sound too romantic to me.

Wrong meaning **
When clicking at “are you married?”, it asks for a phone number instead. Please correct…

Again, ‘What?’ You speak this little Thai, yet you used this app to ask some woman if she was married? Did you say it yourself, or did you just hold it up and press the button, attempting to mesmerise the woman with your electronic gizmo? Of course, considering that the iPad, while common enough here in the states, costs a half-year’s salary in Thailand, that might well have been enough.

So while I won’t be courting any Thai women with a pre-canned, ‘I love you,’ one phrase that I’ll make good use of is, “I need a drink.”

Now everyone can get in on the action…

On my way to breakfast this morning, I passed this tiny little boat with an oversized Corvette engine slapped on top. Amusing enough, and that was before I noticed what was on the passenger side of the dash…

In honor of the spy exchange in Vienna over the weekend, I was re-watching The 3rd Man. Somewhere in the middle, I realized that the man playing the lowly assistant to the detective was Bernard Lee, who went on to play M, the head of the British secret service (James Bond’s boss). My first thought was, “He’s done well for himself,” by which I meant his promotion.

The truth is, they’re both bit parts (in fact, his role in The 3rd Man is somewhat larger than his Bond appearances), but for some
Martin Sheen’s rise from Vietnam-era
captain to President of the United States: the
stuff that(John Kerry’s) dreams are made of.reason I associate his rise in fictional rank with some sort of real-world success. Take for example our forty-third President Martin Sheen. Or four-time General (and occasional private eye) Stacy Keach. These are powerful men. Especially compared to slackers like Marlon Brando, who never rose past Colonel. Or Humphrey Bogart, a Captain at best. And what about that Johnny Depp? He has yet to amount to anything…

Avatar is set to return to IMAX for a two-week re-run starting August 27, 2010 (with eight whole minutes of additional footage!)
Avatar:
back in theaters August 27th. While I won’t call it the most intellectually challenging movie of all time, I enjoyed Avatar the way I do a good rollercoaster, and I’m looking forward to one last ride. Moreso, I’m looking forward to laying eyes on those hot aliens again. A combination of super models and cats, James Cameron gives us the most irresistible combo since peanut butter cups.

He wasn’t the first one with that idea, though. In fact, the Na’vi are just the latest in a long line of cat-themed sexys:

1942 A movie about a Serbian-born fashion designer who transforms into a black panther. Prrrrrr.
1966 Adam West’s Batman gets a new adversary: a sexy woman who dresses like a cat, ties him up, and flirts with him.
1970 Hanna-Barbera brings the comic book characters Josie and the Pussycats to life on Saturday mornings, giving many young boys new, unfamiliar stirrings.
1974 Marvel introduces Tigra, designed to have ‘special appeal to girls.’ Yeah, okay. Them, too.
1982 Nastassja Kinski remakes Cat People, adding much-needed nudity.
1987 Linda Hamilton and Ron Perlman bump the fur in a TV version of Beauty and the Beast.
1989 William Shatner’s poorly-conceived Star Trek movie introduced this unlikely creature: the tri-breasted cat-woman from Nimbus III. (wish I were kidding)
2009 Teenagers around the globe touch themselves to the digitally-created, perfect figure of Neytiri in James Cameron’s Avatar.